This article of Mama Matt’s Corner is dedicated to those who are trying to balance family life, school, and career. The question: How do you know that you’re making the right choice? My honest answer is, YOU DON’T! While managing being a wife, mom, caretaker, student, employee, coach, etc., I didn’t think much about what I was doing, I just did what needed to be done. As I moved on and life’s responsibilities, I began to meet people that told me how much I inspired them to be fearless, my daughter identified me as her role model in a school assignment, all of my children and other youths in my community were giving back and being productive citizens, and then I looked around and realized that I was in rooms and spaces having conversations and working alongside change-makers and leaders. It was then that I thought,
“man, I must be doing something right!”
For a good part of my life, I have worn multiple hats and possessed many titles, but none of them gave me the satisfaction I have today. You see, in my opinion, you really feel as though you have made the right decision when you are doing what makes you happy, when you reach little milestones or goals that you have set for yourself. For some of you, like myself, being here is a great accomplishment. For others, it will be landing that six-figure job, or living debt-free, or just seeing the pride in your family's faces when your name is called at graduation. In my opinion, you being happy tells you that you made the right choices. I don’t care how or in what form it comes to you, bask in that glory. Make a big deal of the small accomplishments that you make along the way to the goal. Celebrate ALL victories!
Being the first college graduate in my family I didn’t have direction. I didn’t know what making it looked like, I didn’t know if the choices I made or continue to make were the right ones, but I know that I am happy with who I am. I know that I enjoy a good night's sleep because I gave the best I could during my day. I know that if I said hello, gave a slight smile or wave, ask how someone’s day is going, lend a helpful hand or ear, it lets me know that I made the right choice at least for that day. One phrase I hear here often is
“give yourself grace!”
You are human, you are not perfect, you will not always make the right choice and that goes from drinking black coffee on an empty stomach (IYKYK) or answering a multiple-choice or essay question. I say it all the time and I say it again, you only get to do this once. You will only get to live this life once, you will only be a JD candidate once, and you will only be whatever age you are once. Make informed decisions, but once you make them, move on. Do not dwell on them. Do not stress yourself out questioning them.
LIVE!!!!
I am a mother of three adult children in class with you not as your professor, but as your classmate, as your peer. Did I always make the right decisions? In some aspects of my life, I say yes, in others, maybe not. At the end of the day, I don’t regret my decisions, and guess what, I am a better person for it. Use your decisions as lessons learned, or as guidance and wisdom to share with others. I leave you with words from ole blue eyes himself, Frank Sinatra,
“I did it my way!’’
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