Can I Get a Boneless Pizza?!

In the past several months, I have been banned from 43 pizza restaurants, and I don’t understand why. As an avid pizza lover, I order pizzas over the phone several times per week. My favorite orCader is a large meat lover’s pizza and a large BBQ chicken pizza with a 2-Liter of Coke. Now, every time I order, the pizza shop gets angry with me and blocks my number. Eventually, I go into the store to place my order, and they always kick me out telling me not to come back.  

This all started after I read an Ohio Supreme Court decision last year stating that it is common sense to assume that boneless chicken wings might have bones in them. Naturally, I should also assume that the chicken and other meats on my pizza may contain bones. Is the chicken on my pizza anything other than a tiny boneless wing? Like anybody, I care for my health and I’m deathly afraid of choking. Reading the decision helped me to wise up, and now I make sure to ask the pizza clerk for a pizza without bones in it.  

When I ask for a boneless pizza, the clerks act confused; as though they don’t know what I mean. They say that they can’t give me a boneless pizza. But if they can’t give me a boneless pizza, then that means they’re selling pizzas with bones in them. In light of the Supreme Court decision, I understand that there’s no use in advertising boneless pizza when there’s no guarantee that there aren’t bones. I’m just asking them to take a bit of extra care with my order to make sure there are no bones in my pizza. They act like that’s an unreasonable request. I’m tired of arguing and going hungry when pizza shops refuse to serve me. Now I’m running out of restaurants to call as each pizza shop thinks that I’m pranking them when I’m following common sense. I just want my BONELESS Pizza! Am I wrong for asking the restaurant to assure me that their food is safe to eat?